The Road Goes Ever On…

If you’re wondering why Cordova, the Obaminator, didn’t post an elaborate celebratory palm-fest gushing all over myself like some masturbatory Bacchanalian egoist on Inauguration Day it’s because after a glance at CNN, MSNBC, the BBC, and FOXNEWS I saw that everyone else was doing a fine job of it already… how utterly predictable it would have been for me to get on the band wagon. Knowing in my heart that I was right in my affiliations is more than enough validation for me, thank you, unlike so many disappointed Republicans I’ve run into since the election who act like we just ushered in the Antichrist. And I’ve met some fundamentalists who actually BELIEVE WE DID JUST THAT. It’s appalling how people criminalize what they do not understand. But at some point you have to leave people to their own delusions and move on down the road. I refuse to expend the rest of my life trying to convince people to use their brains and logic. Sooner or later you realize there is a line of demarcation and you accept it. If McCain had won I would simply have gotten a good Valium prescription, hunkered down to prepare for impact, and just shut the fuck up. But many old-school Republicans seem to be extremely bitter about the fact that a sexy, educated Afro-American man is now telling them what to do. He’s like the black Bill Clinton without the morality issues. ABOVE REPROACH. Hell, even Chris Rock admitted that he had problems coming up with things to make fun of him about…

If you’re interested, here is the Acceptance Speech of the Century…



Speech


Yes, like it or not, we have entered a new era of American history with the first truly inspirational leader to be in power in my lifetime, JFK notwithstanding. We are all going to have to make sacrifices to get to where we want to be in the coming years. So as my dedication to change and this new regime I, John Cordova, vow to go a little easier on you people. I’ll strive to only strike you open-handed and I will never leave a mark. I will listen to your whiny pleas and bitches a little longer than I would like, I will tolerate your fits of insecurity, and I will keep from obliterating your existence in my mind and therefore negating your place in my perceptive reality. All in the name of societal evolution. But only if you promise not to act like emo psychotic Nazis and to try to get your collective shit together. (You know there is nothing unconditional with me) But if you swear to do your part, I will do mine.

I’m beginning to think if you take life like an on-running joke it’s a lot easier to deal with. A joke that often you may brunt of. But many times not.

I’m sitting at a bar working the night before the Inauguration. I see a guy come in, his almost-obscenely beautiful girlfriend next to him in the Dallas-girl late-winter uniform: gray wool leggings tucked into poofy shin-high Uggs, and a skin-tight thermal North Face zip shirt. She’s 5’1” at best, a tiny little-girl’s body sporting a pair of ENORMOUS breasts obviously from augmentation surgery (and I can tell because those firm ripe melon tits are literally as big as her fucking head and without them soaking wet she wouldn’t weigh 100 lbs.). Now, it's true that these days the hormones in the milk have deeply affected female maturation. I mean, when I was 12 I don't remember girls my age having tits as big as their faces. But the Cordova Eye can tell the difference in bounce and reverberation. All it takes is just paying attention. Plus she has no hips and the ass of a 12 year old boy. Really, I’m more astounded than excited. I mean, who the fuck thinks that is sexy?? (And all you pedophiles can just put your fucking hands down, please.) Taste and style are everything, even in the sack, my darlings. If you are THAT insecure to have to blow your chest up like Navy rescue pontoons just to get a boyfriend then my voice here, my dedication to the truth will only make you feel like REAL shit, honey, because as far as I know they have yet to make implants for the heart OR the soul… So you’re shit out of luck. Besides , if you need all that just to keep someone’s attention and get them to like you, you have much bigger problems that being flat-chested, girly. Just saying…

Personally, I prefer my women like coastal high-ways: scenic, inspiring, and full of dangerous curves… The dumb emaciated Twiggy look is only good for porn. For what they lack in musculature and personality they make up for in anal retribution. So, maybe she’s a porn star. She might deserve a special dispensation… I shall investigate further…

But then I look at her companion, a seemingly humorless male in excellent physical condition, tall (though you wouldn’t notice it because he hunches over like Quasimodo), wearing a $2K wristwatch and $400 running shoes… And I realize they are perfect for each other. They do their best to look like they just came from working out but who the fuck works out with product in their hair? Seriously. Their entire personas rely on the illusion of health. You, my poor misguided friend, are a stereotype of the Typical Dallas Douchbag. Yes, you might get hot pieces of silicone-stuffed ass like her but you will never learn to appreciate them (not that they will actually realize it till decades later anyway) and they will end up hating your stupid self for the same reason they are now fucking you. You are as plastic and superficial as those tits you squirt on night after night and don’t even know it. The worst part of it is you’re probably some really cool guy’s idiot son who spends his father’s money like it’s on fucking tap; on first-name basis with all the strip club valets, dating clueless debutants, making a total ass out of yourself every chance you get. I’m sure you’re dad, unless he’s a douche too, would probably kick your teeth in if he could but he’s busy fucking his secretary and needs to keep the peace with your hot MILF mom (who’s probably fucking your best friend- you’re just too dumb to figure it out) so he keeps from mutilating you with his bare hands out of guilt. And your friends and this poor misguided excuse for a young woman is only putting up with your revolting cliché ass because you happen to be everyone’s meal ticket.

That girl’s no porn star- just somebody’s dumb daughter with an inferiority complex to match your own. And what a wonderful social model for all the pre-teens sitting around staring at her…

Welcome to Dallas.

It just goes to prove, like my good friend Drew Evan Stewart wrote:

Beauty is only balls deep.

Now before you label me a conceited elitist let me say I don’t usually make a habit out of tearing people apart on first sight. But, for God’s sake, do they have to make it so easy for me?? I suppose it’s my fault, expecting the same amount of introspection and desire for truth in advertising in other people as I demand from myself. But the reality is PEOPLE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THEMSELVES. They are selfish and petty and their priorities are more on how they LOOK to other people than what THEY REALLY ARE INSIDE.

Example: What is with all the road-rage motherfuckers out there in Southern Babylon these days? Driving your monster trucks and your Escalades like they’re Honda Civics…

(you are all so fucking selfish because of your choice of vehicles and the effects they have on the environment, btw, nimrods)

…cell phones in one hand and dicks in the other… Hell, you’re the ones swerving into my lane, breaking for no reason, on the fucking phone, turning from the center lane without blinkers… I’m just the cute guy in the baby Merc who’s flipping you off… Remember me? The one you almost KILLED just now? I have every right to react against your reckless self-absorption. Yet YOU get pissed off at ME because I call you what you are, a RETARDED SELFISH FUCKSTICK??? How can you possibly expect people to respect YOU if you don't respect ANYONE??? It’s not a wonder your wives cheat on you, your kids HATE you, and why, no matter how big a truck you buy or how fast you drive that your PENIS NEVER GROWS AN INCH. You people make me realize how easy it would be to become a mass-murderer. Dexter would have nothing on me, I assure you. Ugh… And it’s not because I’m so much better than you, it’s because YOU PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH WORSE THAN I. If you ask me, you deserve everything that happens to you. So when you go surfing this year and BRUCE the shark sneaks up and takes your lower extremities in one conjugal bite, let me say now that it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy… And you, Urban Bitch Lady driving like Miss Daisey with a butt-plug in place, when your husband comes home and finds his best friend’s cock doing the Toledo Shuffle with your tonsils and blows your fucking brains as well as his dick into scarlet vapor droplets, I’ll smile in my sleep, wrapped in the woolly cotton boo-boo knowledge that all is now right with the world….

Jerk-offs...

Being a self-made sensualist is not necessarily a rite of narcissistic passage but rather a discipline and strengthening of self-awareness that leads to levels of gratification. Kind of like Buddhists striving for higher levels of awareness. And I’m not talking just sexual gratification, though sex is a huge part of my identity and is symbolic for the freedom of self-knowledge that I profess so vehemently. But it is a gratification that transcends simple pleasures of the flesh and manifests itself into pleasures of self-fulfillment, self-motivation, self-preservation, self-maturation, and ultimately self-realization.

For example, I started a daily news commentary here on Casanova Shrugged that is entitled In the News Today. I hope you guys enjoy my little stab at the Weekend Report made famous by Chevy Chase and Bill Murray on SNL. Actually, I’ve decided to start work on a Political Science degree at SMU this next year, after I finish my next writing projects. I find myself snarkily reporting on the news anyway on Twitter and thought it would be a good way to archive it all. Please feel free to start a dialogue if you have thoughts or suggestions. I did this to give a little back to the community. Not much, but, hey, it’s a start.

I have a few new opportunities that have leaped into the road this week. One is a possible purchase and ultimately the production of the current feature film script I’m in the process of writng. The other is ghostwriting a wonderful lifestyle/all-natural cookbook for a wonderful friend of mine. I am happy to be able to jump from project to project so quickly and that I can be a part of many things simultaneously. God knows I’m grateful for the work.

In our disposable society the Internet has made it so easy for this generation for people to begin a blog and call themselves 'writers'. It’s like a gorgeous pre-teen woman who thinks just because everyone and their brother wants to fuck her that that makes her a WOMAN. Honey, your daddy lied to you. You’re not a princess. You might be pretty (or loud or self-righteous or <insert condition here>) but it doesn’t mean you’re smart. OR right.

The reality is blogging is a lot like sex; not everyone can do it right but EVERYONE thinks they rock at it. The level of personal delusion is astounding… The definition of what a blog is makes it even more complex. I don’t do questionnaires. What a generic way to give you bullet points to my likes and dis-likes. Like many modern Americans I can sum up my talents in two small words: I. Spew. It just so happens to be intelligible froth...

Half of what I read out there is either swill or simply not well-written. Kudos everyone, you get an E for effort just for getting off your ass and doing something, but, again, owning a RED camera that doesn’t mean you can actually make a film. People are more interested in making people laugh and sell ad space... oh, and maybe do a little writing. What I do is not an afterthought. It is a precisely crafted extension of my free will and that is a large reason that up until now I haven’t even thought of doing any advertising. But my surrender to a commercial ideology is more of an “I can do that better than you can” reaction to seeing so many lesser ‘writers’ getting alms from their simple audiences. I’m not for everyone, but those who get it GET IT.

The freedom of the Internet has thrown us into another form of slavery. We have now become MEDIA WHORES so thirsty for acknowledgment and interaction that we will take praise from strangers half-way around the continent and make that the foundation for our identities and self-esteem. The computer is the golden child of alienation. Though we converse with others, it is a lonely and isolating procedure. Avatars and DM’s and flurries of text messages are not substitutes for our friends, they have BECOME our friends. People know us by our digital profiles only, regardless of how fictional they might be. We hide behind the thin veil of anonymity and live lives we create. I don't understand why any of you would ever want to be something you're not... But if, in your heart of hearts, you really want to be someone different why don't you just get off your asses and change your lives instead to trying to fool everyone and ultimately fooling NO ONE, least of all yourself?? We have become passionate parasites, organisms that get our strength from others, no matter how willing they are to give it. It is digital vampirism. And we have become the blood-suckers.

There is a social media service that I belong to. It’s called TWITTER. Maybe you’ve heard of it. (snark) It’s an amazing open-source application that has been taken over by small business owners and entrepreneurs in the name of self-promotion. They are the new parasites vying for our advertising clicks. I think it’s stealing, using something like this as a business tool instead of spending the money creating your own network. People are so fucking lazy. Whether it’s doing the laundry, taking responsibility for your decisions, or making your partner cum, we always want the easy way out… So we are talking the GEEKS of the geeks. And though I might be technical and a bonafide USER I am NOT a geek.

The definition of geek is:

Geek. –noun.
1 a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
b. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken. (source: Dictionary.com)

Now I know in the journey of sexual freedom I might be guilty of veering off the yellow brick road occasionally but NEVER has any of my preoccupations included chewing the heads off of defenseless animals and especially not for the wanton idiotic glee of others. I’d rather take down one of my own- it’s so much more sportsman-like. The most Dangerous Game... And I might act foolish occasionally but I am anything but INEPT.

Nor do I refer to people I know who value the ability to exchange a C drive more important than what next seasons fashion palate will be as geeks either. Geeks are inept mono-visionists who grandstand for their own benefit. WE are contributing members at the forefront of a higher-level functioning modern technical society. We are the ‘Modernaires’ of this century, on the forefront of fashion and art, the philosophers, the upper-echelon of a new culture that focuses on applied intellectualism. Functional technology. We are the new Emersons, the Shelleys, the Millers, the urban Whitmans, the Rands of our generation leading culture and society into the future. Or at least we COULD be if we didn’t continually set the bar so low… Not that Twitter is bad. There are SOO many worse sites that are less functional, but because Twitter is the BEST I shall use it to illustrate my point.

Anyway, this application has been embraced by self-proclaimed Internet marketing ‘gurus’ who profess to give you maximum return with the least amount of money or effort. Now I may be old-school but from where I come from that is the definition of LAZY, ENTITLEMENT, UNGRATEFULNESS, and for those of you who ever read Ayn Rand good old-fashioned SECOND-HANDER MENTALITY. On Twitter these people come across like some of the biggest bunch of ass-lickers, saying how WONDERFUL so-and-so is, how SWEET people are when in reality they are just blowing sunshine up your skirt as well. Now I know I’m an only child and have raised myself to trust in no other person greater than my intuition… (and my view of a higher power, but that, my children is for another post entirely) but what the fuck, fuckers?

Hell, most people can’t even SPELL intuition much less know its definition and know how to listen to it. It is a mechanism that is directly attached to my BULLSHIT METER and when it hears a bunch of smarmy propaganda it goes off like a 5-alarm fire. Did none of you ever read Machiavelli? Flattery is the lowest form of disrespect to anyone with any amount of self-esteem or self-worth. I don’t need a bunch of strangers I’ve never met face-to-face jacking me off and blowing sunshine up my skirt to make me feel like I'm a viable contributing member of the human race. I create ART and LITURATURE, MUSIC and FILM, I have a BRAIN that I use to THINK. I have highly skilled hands that can build furniture, play musical instruments, paint murals, sculpt, make shadow puppets and jack myself off ALL ON MY OWN. I have done more in the first half of my life than many will EVER do even in their dreams. I don’t NEED people telling me how wonderful I am. My work, like my intent, speaks for itself. And many times I don’t even put my real name on my work, THAT’S how indifferent I am to the alms of the masses. I do not spite my audience but I do not exist for them either. I exist to create for the sake of creation. And I bring more beauty and understanding to this world than many could ever hope to. I’ve had to teach myself, seek, study, practice, rehearse and FAIL TIME AND TIME AGAIN before I ever ONCE knew what it was to succeed. I know the value of hard work and loyalty. Call it a God complex all you want but if all YOU can create is other people and fool thousands of people to follow your drivel on a SMS, then do yourself a favor and don’t start any shit with me.

Anyway, back to the gurus. There are so many who considers themselves ROCKSTARS on Twitter, self-proclaimed Social Media ‘experts’ with 20,000 followers ... Do you expect me to believe that you can have a meaningful relationship with 20,000 people?? Remind me NEVER TO DATE ANY OF YOU. As far as I’m concerned you’re not an expert at ANYTHING unless it is ALL YOU DO. And the reality is the TRUE innovators are those who are MULTI-TASKING and wearing a number of hats. You have to know how to modify and integrate to be worth a flying FUCK these days. And it seems to me like soo many of these ‘experts’ have nothing better to do than spread their shit all over Twitter, follow people, and call themselves ‘brilliant’ for no real reason except that they have fooled people into giving them money simply for Twittering. Call your mother. She 'might' give a shit... but probably not.

Where do we, the inheriting generation, go from here? What does the future of the INTEGRITY of the American society go from here?? It’s up to us all to look inside and see if the road we are currently on is taking us where we want to go. And if not, are our destinations worth reaching?

The road is long and filled with stuff…

I am sooo in need of mitosis. I just want to split apart and become two different entities so I can get everything done I need to do. And I’ll give the other guy all the emo baggage shit to deal with… Yeah…

(Earth to Cordova. You’d kill him with your bare hands the first day. There can be only one.)

Heavy sigh...

So I promise to try not to be so… Cordovic. All the time. But please try to help me out too. Don’t be douches and pussies. And if you insist, then please don’t bitch about being called out. Just take it. You’re lame and selfish. Just own it. Either that or get your shit together. Because part of this country’s impending change deals with humility, respect, education, and STANDING YOUR GROUND. And I won’t react to you if you just play nice, be respectful, and keep your dick-beaters to yourself.

See ya.



♠ JC